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JoKe oF the DAY!!! Updated every day I work
- Author: Thread starter Flsurfer06
- Start date
R.i.p :lol::lol:Unexpected sex is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again,and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzipa little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body!I don't even know who you are!'
The Texan smiled and drawled,"Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Post automatically merged: 1 minute ago
"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised, You've
been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again,and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzipa little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body!I don't even know who you are!'
The Texan smiled and drawled,"Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Post automatically merged: 1 minute ago
"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised, You've
been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"
Q: How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.
Q:How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:One. With a step ladder. They're short, not stupid.
Q:How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None. The light bulb has to want to change.
Q:How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:3, one to change the bulb, and two to design the T-Shirts
Q:How many cubs fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None they just talk about doing it next year.
Q:How many ADD kids does it take to change a...
A:We should ride bicycles you guys!!
A: Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.
Q:How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:One. With a step ladder. They're short, not stupid.
Q:How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None. The light bulb has to want to change.
Q:How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:3, one to change the bulb, and two to design the T-Shirts
Q:How many cubs fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None they just talk about doing it next year.
Q:How many ADD kids does it take to change a...
A:We should ride bicycles you guys!!
Post automatically merged:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife... she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over... women like that are hard to find."
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9:
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.
When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
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