have you regret THAT one things that make you guys thinking at night like "why did i do that" . if yes then we are related , i don't know how can i make that things disappear,should i just have an accident to make it to the coma so that i can forgot the things that been holding me down. if only I'm not that stupid
Of course. Everyone has made mistakes and it's normal to regret it. Everyone can make mistakes, no one is perfect. For example, sometimes I wish I could change some things, but I don't have a magic wand Just regret. Don't upset yourself, everyone can experience them, it's very normal.
The struggles and pain we face in life are just tools to make us stronger. It's the same with mistakes we learn and grow from them. Without Struggles we can have no strength and without pain we can have no compassion theyre qualities born from pain and struggle.
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll make it clear
I'll state my case, of which I am certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more
I did it, I did it my way
Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much, much more
I did it, I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, whenever there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it, did it my way
I've loved, laughed and cried
I had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find that it's all so amusing
And to think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way,
No, no, not me
I did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has naught
Not to say the things that he truly feels
And not the words of someone who kneels
The record shows I took all the blows
And did it my way!
What Do We Regret?
One way that we can learn about life’s biggest regrets is to directly ask people.
A nationally representative study, which asked 270 Americans to describe a significant life regret, found the most commonly reported regrets involved romance (19.3%), family (16.9%), education (14.0%), career (13.8%), finance (9.9%), and parenting (9.0%) (Morrison & Roese, 2011).
Another way that we can learn about life’s biggest regrets is to listen to those who care for the dying. These carers, who spend much of their time in discussion with those in their last act, have a unique perspective.
Perhaps the most well-known example is Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative carer who wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. In it, she describes the five most common wishes she heard from her soon-to-depart clients.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Stringently adhering to cultural norms at the expense of your own passions will result in disappointment and bitterness.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Time is non-refundable so if you spend it working, then you can’t spend it doing more meaningful things.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. It is only by being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings can you form genuine bonds with other people.
I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends. It is dispiriting to be disconnected from those who truly understand you and accept you as you are.
I wish I had let myself be happier. The expectations and opinions of others should not prevent you from being happy with who you are. Moreover, happiness can be found in the journey, not just the destination, which you often never reach.
What Leads to Regret?
A number of features increase the likelihood that a decision will lead to regret.
Feelings of regret in the long-term are more likely for decisions involving inaction; that is, choosing not to do something (Gilovich & Medvec, 1994)—for example, that overseas job you never took or that person you never had the courage to ask out. This kind of regret is enhanced by our imagination, which compares the real world with visions of the best alternative world. You can never know how things would have turned out but your mind can easily paint a rosy picture.
Decisions resulting in poor outcomes produce greater regret when it is harder to justify those decisions in retrospect (Connolly & Zeelenberg, 2002). Some decisions are made quickly, without consulting others or thinking through the options and their possible consequences. When these decisions turn out poorly, you are more likely to lament how easily you could have done something differently.
sion of yourself (Davidai & Gilovich, 2018). The person you want to be is grounded by your values, which reflect the things that are important to you. Some value power, others conformity, others security. Whatever it is, decisions that compromise your values expose you to the risk of regret.
Take-Homes
There are a few important take-homes from this discussion. First, the most enduring regrets relate to social relationships. Humans have a biological need to belong and decisions that threaten this sense of belonging are particularly fraught with risk. Nurture your relationships.
Second, the most intense regrets are for decisions that are hard to justify in retrospect. To avoid regrets, it is important to make decisions that are consistent with your personal life rules and values. Even if things turn out poorly, you will know why the decision made sense for you at the time.
Third, the biggest regrets tend to relate to the things you didn’t do, perhaps because you were scared or were too busy working. It’s easier to course correct after taking action than time travel and pursue opportunities you left behind. Give things a go.
I've learned many things over the decades, My Good Lord has allowed me to walk on this planet.
Heck, studies reveal some of us can't recognize what we've learned or experienced, because we waste too much time studying, and very little time living, experiencing, growing, as we change.
None of us are the person we were two years ago, much less 22 years ago. What's done is done. Leave it be, move on, or else that anchor will drag you down and destroy you completely.
My grandmother would often tell me, as a young lad of 8 or 9 years old.
She'd say, "Boy, let go, and allow God to handle it!“
In essence, Granny was telling me, God doesn't need my help, just my gratitude and appreciation.
Another thing she taught me, is to be grateful for what I DO HAVE, and stop fretting over what I don't have.
As with everything in which we're involved, it takes time, so patience is the emotion we must call upon during those silly struggles.
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