Shyness

[jojo85858]

Hi guys. I would love to listen your detail advice on how to not be shy/affraid of stranger? How you overcome it? Detail advice please~~ and please don't comment if your only advices is likes go seek therapist or counseling things.

<3 I a girl btw.

I not comfortable at all with all stranger male/female especially young male. I don't know the reason.
If I order food, if the waiter or the casher is young male. I will afraid to go order or pay.
But if its female, I much less afraid compared to young male. Seriously I don't know why. It's not that I like/love them.

I have hard time to form smile on my face with stranger. I have a 'bitch resting face'.

I also afriad to give my opinion to public and have hard time to speak in public.

I have no problem go alone to supermarket but I do when I go to event, join class, gym.

I feel anxious if I go to new place and meet new people alone unless I brought friend.

I hope you see you advices or your own experience to overcome. In detail if you can~

Sorry I have bad grammar . Please correcting it if you willing.

 

[Azura Shadow]

This is a social phobia . You have to ask yourself if males make you uncomfortable and you'll have to look within yourself as to the reason why . Perhaps as a child somebody made some vile comment towards you that cut you deeply or made you totall uncomfortable and there after your young mind created this phobia to save you further hurt or embarrasment .

Most often than not , we fear things because of some sort of lack we perceive within ourselves , developing confidence is the first key and learning to accept and love yourself above all else is what will give you great freedom .

As a first step I'd suggest play acting . If you havea close girlfriend , get her to dress as a guy and let a scene play out of a normal everyday routine, like meeting on the street or getting tickets from a cashier for the movies.

Post automatically merged: Oct 24, 2019

Always remember you are whole and there is no inadequacy within you. The opinions of others on your appearance , dressing or speech does not matter at all . I notice you seem to have given a title to your resting face , seek the positives within yourself . Make a list of all the qualities you like , then make a list of the qualities you dislike and try working on some of those things , like speaking in front of a mirror to yourself tends to help find your voice ( Lots of highly successful people speak to themselves everyday , in the forms of affirmations or rehearsing for meetings /speeches )

Every being is different if we all were the same , this world would be totally boring

 

[Autumn Phantasm]

@Azura Shadow those are some great suggestions! I used to have a slight case of this before, not so much that I couldn't talk to anyone else but more of an anxiety in talking to others. I think I went and did the exposure therapy approach, wherein you just kept on being exposed to the event that's triggering your anxiety/phobia. A friend of mine used to have the same case as yours. She'd always ask me to order food for her or she'd give me the money to pay for stuff just so she'd avoid talking to people. I used those instances to slowly get accustomed in conversing with strangers

 

[Azura Shadow]

@Azura Shadow those are some great suggestions! I used to have a slight case of this before, not so much that I couldn't talk to anyone else but more of an anxiety in talking to others. I think I went and did the exposure therapy approach, wherein you just kept on being exposed to the event that's triggering your anxiety/phobia. A friend of mine used to have the same case as yours. She'd always ask me to order food for her or she'd give me the money to pay for stuff just so she'd avoid talking to people. I used those instances to slowly get accustomed in conversing with strangers

That is wonderful I feel anxiety and fear holds people back from experiencing how truly beautiful this life can be .

 

[Autumn Phantasm]

That is wonderful I feel anxiety and fear holds people back from experiencing how truly beautiful this life can be .

That's true. I see anxiety and fear as something to conquer though. I mean, it's a personal thing. You hold yourself back from doing/saying things because you think too much of the bad stuff. Anyway, I remembered being annoyed with my friend because she depends on me in these situations a lot, but now I feel bad for how annoyed I was about her social anxiety. I think she's doing great now though.

 

[Azura Shadow]

That's true. I see anxiety and fear as something to conquer though. I mean, it's a personal thing. You hold yourself back from doing/saying things because you think too much of the bad stuff. Anyway, I remembered being annoyed with my friend because she depends on me in these situations a lot, but now I feel bad for how annoyed I was about her social anxiety. I think she's doing great now though.

Often our own worst enemies are ourselves . There's no need to feel bad about your friend , who knows , maybe it was you being annoyed with her and giving her the push she needed to work on her anxiety .

We can't always shield somebody since there is no guarantee that we will always be there , they have to learn to stand on their own someday